Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Stinky Feet

Ok. I HAVE to share the experience I just had in my Special Education class on campus:

I sat down in my seat, like usual, and proceeded to try and learn every student's name in the class. (This is an assignment. We have to learn EVERYBODY'S name. I'm not a fan.) So I stared at the seating chart and rehearsed names in my mind. Class began shortly after.

As my teacher began to talk about the material, a very fowel smell entered my nose. I thought some idiot next to me let one go and it was a one time thing so I just winced and tried to hold my breath for 30 sec. I began to breath normal again and the air was fresh; however, only for about a minute. This horrible stench kept blowing my way about every 5 breaths I took. I got a little worried. Why? Because I thought it was me.

I decided to perform the classic and sneaky armpit smelling trick. . . I acted like I was scratching my head while I leaned slighty to my underarm and took a wiff. Aawwwww, a refreshing Degree deoderant fragrance that I love. Thank heavens! I smelled good there. (I thought about keeping my nose next to my armpit the rest of class because that seemed to be the only relief I could get from the disgusting smell around me. Then I decided, that might not be good for my reputation.)

In my mind I checked off my armpits, "Yep. They smell good." Then I decided to bend down and act like my shoe needed tying, so I leaned down and started to sniff my jeans. I thought that maybe I had worn my jeans one too many times and they had started to stink? Funny, I know. Once again I could smell only good smells coming from me. My only last thought was, "Is it my breath? No, it couldn't be. I don't think any mouth could produce such a smell as what I was smelling." So I came to the conclusion that it indeed, was NOT me.

The next 5 minutes I was observing those around me and looking at what they were doing. Most everyone was normal. Still, the horrid stench entered my nostrils. Around this time, the smell had intensified a few notches. I just kept thinking, "OH MY GOSH! That reeks! Who is the one stinking up the room gosh dang it?" I knew it wasn't me, but yet I still wondered if it was me because I seemed to be the only affected by the smell.

I had just about given up on the matter when I glanced over at a crazy girl to my right. I looked her up and down--not knowing exactly what I might find--and discovered these Egyptian looking sandals laying on the floor next to her desk while her feet were perched on the rack under the desk in front of her. The paint on her toenails was flaking off, she had a few toe rings, and they were not pleasant looking. That is where it was coming from! HER FEET STUNK SOOOOO BAD! Her disgustingly molded, sweaty feet were not where they should be, (attached to her sandals) and they were stinking up my bubble of fresh air!

I should have known that it was someone's stinky feet. The stench was a mixture of body odor and urine..... that's the only way I can describe it. Ya, be grateful you did not have to smell it for 60 minutes in class, unable to escape. For some lucky reason, I discovered that the airflow from the vent was blowing directly toward my seat, which is why I seemed to be the only one that was effected by it. Uggghhhh. For the rest of class I tried everything I could to NOT inhale her stinky feet smell. I put my nose in my sleeve, I tried leaning all the way forward in my seat, I tried turning the complete opposite direction, I tried to take in less breaths, etc . . . The only thing that worked was if I placed my index finger directly under my nose so that I could only smell my finger. (Which happened to smell like banana's because I fed Wyatt this morning). Still, that was a better smell than those feet of hers! So the rest of class my finger was stuck under my nose. It was like breathing through a straw.

I wish this girl could read this so she would know NOT TO TAKE HER SANDALS OFF in a classroom of students. When you wear sandals your feet stink. End of story. So to those who took the time to read this, just think about that before you decide to take off your socks or shoes or sandals :).

Ashley

16 comments:

Maddy said...

hey I found your blog linked with the Mathias Family's! It is very cute! And that story was pretty gross...

Aubrey said...

oh gosh sis. You poor thing. Scope her out next time you go to class and steer clear!

Beth Willmore said...

Holy cow that is the funnies thing I've ever heard! Next time you should TOTALLY say something to her about it like, "Unless you want me to vomit in your lap, keep your shoes on today." Or something equally as polite and nonconfrontational.

Unknown said...

HAHAHA I've totally been there! you don't even listen to the lecture because you're so paranoid that you stink and then when you find the real smelly person you cannot view them as a normal human being for the rest of the semester!!

gelly said...

haha...breathing through a straw...that's not fun, but at least you found some escape from the stench.

Morgan said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!
One time in a class up there, this awkward looking kid let one rip, and he looked at me and in a whiny squeaky kind of voice, said, 'excuse me." and I was like.......EEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

Jamie said...

Hey ash! That story is grosser than my wart pictures, just so you know. How are you? I miss you. Sounds like things are going good and I bet you are enjoying being back in school. I liked your family pictures from your reunion! You guys sure have a good looking family. Hope all is well. Call me sometime and we'll chat!

Maddie and Tanner Stevens said...

oh. my. gosh. you are hilarious. i just died.

Jaxon said...

In the words of my youngest sibling, "I just peed a little"

Rowbury Adventures said...

HAHAH I seriously just laughed out loud while reading this hilarious post. You're such a great story teller ash bash! You should possibly tell that girl never to take her shoes off again! haha and 60 minutes is a long time to endure such a stench, I'm so happy you survived the hour to tell your tale!

Valerie said...

What an unfortunate situation. So sorry. But I'm wondering what the person you didn't know was watching you was thinking as you were sticking your nose in your pit! Heh Heh!

You know, if the offensiveness continues, a carefully worded note placed anonymously on her desk might do the trick...

Kaylie said...

Hahahaha, I love it! You and your stinky-footed friend. I was laughing as I read your post and swore I could even smell a rotten stench as I did so.

Anyway, thanks for the comment on my car post, and my car is not crap, thank you very much! haha. Although I too miss my dear little Ethel. This car has no paint to peel, sorry. But I will still let you ride in her! We need to get together soon, remember? And I still have that program to bring you. Okay, have a good day! Loves.

Carrie said...

You are one of a kind...original...and hilarious! I love reading your blogs my dear niece!

I love the word verification that I had to type "fleavki"...kind of makes me think of stinky feet!

Ashley Sullenger said...

Are you kidding me? haha the best part is what class you were sitting in. There were some odd ducks in my Sped class as well. Who's your teacher? haha Thanks for the laugh, I needed one today.

JeNnA said...

Oh dear ashley... you are hilarous and really an awesome story teller! Thanks for making me laugh! Dang rank girl....

T said...

um.... sick!
she probably didn't realize it was hers. Call me, I have a funny story for you about this!