FYI: I'm still the same person

When change comes into your life, it can be hard at times. Sometimes you become insecure with yourself or down because you aren't comfortable with the new situation. Maybe you become a little sad because you don't know if you're doing the right thing? I'm sure all of us have felt this way at some point in our lives. I, myself, have gone through a huge change in my life and have tried to cope with it the past 10 months. It was the right thing to do and I'm so grateful for the change that came our way on Sept 21, 2009 when Wyatt was born, but with that came other changes for me.

I finally came across something that gave me some comfort. I don't know who writes these articles but I was sure grateful for these words:

Remember the line in the old camp song, "Make new friends, but keep the old"? A fine sentiment, but both can be tricky when you're a new mom. If you sign up for baby classes, visit the library for story time, or just hang around the playground, you're likely to connect with some other moms who share your (totally normal!) need to discuss diaper duty and sleep strategies.

But prebaby friendships can hit a rocky patch during this transition time in your life — and that's perfectly natural, for lots of reasons. Your interests have changed (did we mention diapers?), and the time and energy you once had for socializing is now usually reserved for your baby — or your bed, so you can catch up on your sleep. If you've left your job or put it on hold, you're now removed (both physically and emotionally) from your circle of work buddies. Also, and most unsettling, some of your unmarried or childless friends may be uncomfortable around you now that you're one of the mommy set. They may feel that you just have less in common, or they could be envious of your new situation. Sadly, some of those friendships may not survive the arrival of your baby.

To preserve the ones that will, make sure to let your friends know that you are still (mostly) the same person you used to be, and that you still care about more than just baby stuff. Make time for them on a regular basis (even if that's just once a month) for lunch or a drink (without baby in tow). At first, stick to familiar topics — the shared interests that brought you together. You needn't make mention of the baby off-limits; good friends will always want to know how your little one is and about your new life. Just don't let baby talk monopolize the conversation.

If, despite your best efforts, a friend still seems distant (or worse, views your baby and your new life with distaste), let the relationship lapse before you get any more frustrated with your former pal's disinterest. Don't write off every baby-wary buddy, though. You'll likely find that friendships that seemed strained after your baby arrived will renew when those women (or men) have their own kids.

Whattoexpect. com

I value friendships and relationships like I value honesty. One should always be honest and never tell a lie, especially to those you love. So, let me be honest for one second . . . to all of my dear friends, (you know who you are) I want you to know that I still think about all of you. Although we don't hang out all the time like the good old days, your friendship to me is the same and you will always be in my thoughts. I'm still the same old Andy from high school and I still enjoy girl talk and having a good time, so if you ever are around and want to hang out, let's do it!

Now understand, this is not for anyone to bestow pity on me or to say, "Oh Ashley, I'm so sorry you feel this way." NO! I just wanted to share that everybody goes through change and everyone has to learn how to cope with it. I'm still so young (22) and still have so much energy and crazy ideas rolling around inside me that sometimes I still need my young friends to help me let it out :) There is my thought for the day.